A Teenager is in the House!

The boxes are still scattered around upstairs and I still haven’t found the nativity set.  Of course, I haven’t had that much time to look for it but we’re half way to Christmas and I’m still running behind.  My goal is to not be stressed out about that.  The cards and newsletters are printed, but not in envelopes.  I wish they could mail themselves.

Both Kory and I were having second thoughts about all the fuss we make for Christmas and what it really costs to keep up traditions.  Kaleb’s getting old enough now that he might be willing to switch gears a little and do things differently, but all the preparations seem so hollow.  We want to focus more on the meaning, so we’ll see how that desire plays out this year.

This week has been consumed with Kaleb becoming a teenager.  We took him to the Space Needle for lunch on Tuesday with his mentor, John Foreman, so we were gone all day.  Wednesday we had the neighbors and Grammy J here for lunch and some other friends dropped by in the afternoon, so that took care of that day.  Saturday will be spent downtown Seattle with Kaleb and his buddies going to a big arcade down there and celebrating his birthday with his pals, so I haven’t had much time to get stuff done – the least of which will be Christmas baking.  Turning 13, apparently, is a big deal.

We bought Kaleb a few things he really wanted for his birthday, and then surprised him with the news that we’re taking him to Florida in a few weeks to go to Disneyworld and Universal Studios – a sort of farewell to his childhood years now that he’s becoming a young man.  And with all that – the only thing he was really excited about and went on and on about – is that now that he’s 13 he can have his own Facebook account!  Something that costs nothing, but connects him easily to his friends in Norway and here, and I’m sure if that’s all that he got for his birthday, he would have been just fine with that.  I was kicking myself afterwards.  At least now I have another “tool” to use as motivation for him to complete his chores and schoolwork, since that’s an easy thing to restrict him from if he doesn’t obey.  In just a few hours he’d already gotten 28 “friends.”  It seems he’s already drank the Facebook Kool-aid as I had to order him off it the first night to get to bed and first thing the next morning it was better than an alarm clock, as he was up and checking his account to see who had accepted his friend requests.  Oh, brother. 

I do look forward to the teenage years with him.  He’s been so advanced his whole life so I’m thinking he’s already been through those snarly difficult teenager years – starting at about age 8, and now he’s passed them.  Wishful thinking perhaps, but I do believe these years with him with be special.  I bought him the book “Do Hard Things” – written by twin teenage boys about rebelling again low expectations for teenagers and not letting them get lazy or surly.  I’ll be assigning him that to read for his health class for school.  I also bought him “The Power of Positive Thinking” and “How to Win Friends and Influence People.”  Who says “health” has to be just about our physical bodies?  With that kid, his mind controls it all. 

At his birthday lunch, Grammy J (age 75) asked for some Sweet-n-Low to put in her coffee.  I only have that stuff in our house for when she comes over.  It’s so artificial I can’t stand it.  As I gave it to her, I also gave her my opinion of her putting something so nasty in her body when I said, “This stuff will make you die young,” to which Kaleb immediately replied, “It’s a little late for that.”  We all had a good laugh over that one.  Quick thinker – that kid.  We are indeed blessed to have him in our lives.

Giving Thanks

It’s been a mixed bag of emotions for me the last few weeks.  Some days I’ve teared up from joy, just thinking about how blessed we are and how many things in our life are so far above my expectations and I feel guilty having it so good when so many others are suffering.  Other days I’m profoundly sad and I tear up when I think about those “others” and what they are going through.  It really keeps life in perspective now that I’m on the Prayer Team at our church and I get regular updates on situations to pray for.  I’ve always gone to bed at night thankful for my pillow and bed, a roof over my head, good health, cars that run, money in the bank and a healthy husband and child, but when I thank God for those things now, it’s a lot more intense because I realize just how tough it is for other families out there.  We are indeed blessed beyond our ability to accept it.

I love the saying I head recently, “What if you woke up today with just the things you thanked God for yesterday.”  Startling thought.  I am thankful and I’m glad our country at least has one day a year where the focus is on giving thanks.  Even if our Thanksgiving this year wasn’t like all the others we’ve had in the past, it was still a time to be thankful for all we have.

I was a little lonely this past week, not having the usual friends up for the holidays.  I started feeling more than a bit blue that I don’t have any really good friends up here in Skagit Valley and wishing I hadn’t moved around so much in my early years because now all my long time friends are scattered about.  I talked with God about it one morning, telling him how much I miss having friends close by and the next thing I know – in just a few days – three of my oldest and dearest friends all called me on the phone.  My friend, Launni, in Colorado wanted to know when she could come for a visit in January.  My friend, Dani in California, called early one morning to say she was booking a flight to come visit me in early February.  And my other friend, Barb, in Arizona, called just to chat and to tell me she wished she could afford to come up and visit.  It was incredible.  I hadn’t talked to any of these women in months and just like that – they all called.  What a gift from God.  So it took care of the blues in a hurry and I’m anxiously awaiting visits from Launni and Dani after Christmas.

Kaleb told me this week he’s still waiting for Thanksgiving.  Normally we have two families up for the day and the house is full of chaos and laughter, but this year no one came for various reasons.  It was Kory’s birthday that day so he didn’t want to venture down to my step-mom’s, who invited us to eat with her, because it’s such a long drive in the car and he wanted to spend his day at home.  I don’t blame him, as it’s only once every seven years his birthday falls on Thanksgiving, so he got to call the shots.  But it was weird, sitting down to a turkey dinner with just the three of us.  Kaleb’s body clock says the Christmas season starts once our house has been invaded with guests, noise, lots of food and late night card games.  I totally understand that too, and it’s been hard to kick into the Christmas season without the proper passage of Thanksgiving.  But here we are, already in the first week of December, and time is passing by whether we’re ready for it or not.

I’m certain all my Christmas decorations won’t make it out of their boxes this year but it will be enough that no one but me will notice the difference.  We cut our tree the day after Thanksgiving and it sat in a bucket outside until last night.  We finally got lights on it but have had no time to get the ornaments on.  Our house has been a disaster zone all week so finally last night we all took a few hours and cleaned it up a bit which improved my mood immensely.  We’ve just been gone from home so much this week we’ve only been around long enough to mess it up.  (I’m actually writing this in the car while we are heading to a party as I’ve had no time at home to sit and write.)

I feel so unprepared for Christmas this year, even though all my shopping is done and most of the presents are wrapped.  I haven’t done any baking, I haven’t finished writing the newsletter and all our cards still need to be addressed.  At least Kaleb designed the card and Kory drew it, so that was one thing off my list.  I just feel overwhelmed – not just with things to do, but with emotions.  And I hope my Daddy’s words are right, as he often used to tell me, “This too, shall pass.”

(All the photos today were taken from our deck throughout the day on December 1st.)

My Dad

(I wrote this on November 22^nd – the anniversary of the day he died – but I didn’t post it  because I got too sad thinking about him…)

Seventeen years ago today my dad was murdered.  I think about him nearly everyday.  The man that killed him is still in prison, and the woman that was an accomplice was out of jail after three years but now back in for killing someone.

I so wish he could have been a grandfather to Kaleb.  Kaleb’s not much into hunting and fishing, like my dad was, but he appreciates a well-told story, and boy, could my dad tell a story!  Whether it was true or not wasn’t the point, he was just a captivating storyteller and could keep me entertained for hours.  He was also a very smart man and would probably have many answers to Kaleb’s non-stop and persistent questions.  And I know, as proud as my dad was of me, he’d be busting his buttons over Kaleb’s accomplishments.  Kaleb has already exceeded any and all of my academic pursuits and he’s not even a teenager yet.  This past weekend he competed in a speech tournament with a bunch of high school kids, and did pretty well.  He came in first place among the novice competitors and 9^th place overall.  Just this week he completed a six-month Honors Algebra course with Johns Hopkins in three months and got an A-.  He’s one of the top students in his high school English class as well as his Physics class, and he’s by far the youngest one in both of those classes.  I often wonder how in the world he can excel so much, and then I remember my Dad.  One of my dad’s friends told me once that “He’s so smart it scares me.”  I’ve thought that a few times about Kaleb, as well.

It’s kinda cool thinking that even though my Dad is gone, some of his DNA lives on in Kaleb.  And I trust that God has broken any generational issues around the things that plagued my Dad and kept him from being as successful as he could have been.  He was bi-polar and self medicated with alcohol, so his light didn’t shine as bright as it could have, had he chose a different path.  I still miss him like crazy.  He loved me unconditionally and would have done anything for me.  I think he’s one of the reasons I feel so close to God – because I think of how much it pleased my dad to do stuff for me and I realize that God feels the same way toward us.  I grieve for those who had bad fathers because I do believe it hinders their impressions of our Heavenly Father. 

I feel blessed having known my real dad.  I wasn’t raised with him because my parents were divorced, but time does not diminish a person’s love, and it’s evident how much my dad loved me all the years we were apart, by how much he welcomed me into his life once I found him when I was 19.  It was one of the best things I’ve ever done in my life.  I am my father’s daughter and I’m so thankful I am made up of his parts.