Giving Thanks

It’s been a mixed bag of emotions for me the last few weeks.  Some days I’ve teared up from joy, just thinking about how blessed we are and how many things in our life are so far above my expectations and I feel guilty having it so good when so many others are suffering.  Other days I’m profoundly sad and I tear up when I think about those “others” and what they are going through.  It really keeps life in perspective now that I’m on the Prayer Team at our church and I get regular updates on situations to pray for.  I’ve always gone to bed at night thankful for my pillow and bed, a roof over my head, good health, cars that run, money in the bank and a healthy husband and child, but when I thank God for those things now, it’s a lot more intense because I realize just how tough it is for other families out there.  We are indeed blessed beyond our ability to accept it.

I love the saying I head recently, “What if you woke up today with just the things you thanked God for yesterday.”  Startling thought.  I am thankful and I’m glad our country at least has one day a year where the focus is on giving thanks.  Even if our Thanksgiving this year wasn’t like all the others we’ve had in the past, it was still a time to be thankful for all we have.

I was a little lonely this past week, not having the usual friends up for the holidays.  I started feeling more than a bit blue that I don’t have any really good friends up here in Skagit Valley and wishing I hadn’t moved around so much in my early years because now all my long time friends are scattered about.  I talked with God about it one morning, telling him how much I miss having friends close by and the next thing I know – in just a few days – three of my oldest and dearest friends all called me on the phone.  My friend, Launni, in Colorado wanted to know when she could come for a visit in January.  My friend, Dani in California, called early one morning to say she was booking a flight to come visit me in early February.  And my other friend, Barb, in Arizona, called just to chat and to tell me she wished she could afford to come up and visit.  It was incredible.  I hadn’t talked to any of these women in months and just like that – they all called.  What a gift from God.  So it took care of the blues in a hurry and I’m anxiously awaiting visits from Launni and Dani after Christmas.

Kaleb told me this week he’s still waiting for Thanksgiving.  Normally we have two families up for the day and the house is full of chaos and laughter, but this year no one came for various reasons.  It was Kory’s birthday that day so he didn’t want to venture down to my step-mom’s, who invited us to eat with her, because it’s such a long drive in the car and he wanted to spend his day at home.  I don’t blame him, as it’s only once every seven years his birthday falls on Thanksgiving, so he got to call the shots.  But it was weird, sitting down to a turkey dinner with just the three of us.  Kaleb’s body clock says the Christmas season starts once our house has been invaded with guests, noise, lots of food and late night card games.  I totally understand that too, and it’s been hard to kick into the Christmas season without the proper passage of Thanksgiving.  But here we are, already in the first week of December, and time is passing by whether we’re ready for it or not.

I’m certain all my Christmas decorations won’t make it out of their boxes this year but it will be enough that no one but me will notice the difference.  We cut our tree the day after Thanksgiving and it sat in a bucket outside until last night.  We finally got lights on it but have had no time to get the ornaments on.  Our house has been a disaster zone all week so finally last night we all took a few hours and cleaned it up a bit which improved my mood immensely.  We’ve just been gone from home so much this week we’ve only been around long enough to mess it up.  (I’m actually writing this in the car while we are heading to a party as I’ve had no time at home to sit and write.)

I feel so unprepared for Christmas this year, even though all my shopping is done and most of the presents are wrapped.  I haven’t done any baking, I haven’t finished writing the newsletter and all our cards still need to be addressed.  At least Kaleb designed the card and Kory drew it, so that was one thing off my list.  I just feel overwhelmed – not just with things to do, but with emotions.  And I hope my Daddy’s words are right, as he often used to tell me, “This too, shall pass.”

(All the photos today were taken from our deck throughout the day on December 1st.)