A Time of Thanks and Giving

I’ve been feeling a sense of urgency lately.  The feeling keeps getting confirmed via different sources.  Even our pastor’s sermon yesterday was about living our lives as if it were the last two minutes in the game.  It seems football players focus and play harder in those last minutes than they do the rest of the game.  I guess having my friend JaRon die recently helps put things in perspective.  Like, what am I doing with my life that matters, anyway?  I’m on this weekly routine that just wears me out, but then I tell myself the purpose of my life right now is to raise Kaleb, and his life requires routine.  I have a feeling I should be doing more for God or others or even myself, but then I bounce back with the idea that even if all I do outside the routine is scrub toilets, and I do it with a thankful heart, then I am doing it for God since it’s an act of service to others.  I was in this weird place even before Saturday, when we found out Kory has angina pain again, which is NOT a good sign.

I know God allows us to go through these “refining fires” just to see how we come out on the other end.  I hope I pass this test because there is nothing I can do about Kory’s heart but pray and trust God for the outcome, even if it means by-pass surgery is in the near future.  Whatever I need to get through this, God will provide, I’m certain of that, as I’ve seen just how His grace has sustained JaRon’s family after she died.  We had a great Thanksgiving with them all and it wasn’t sad one little bit.  Life goes on and we are just thankful for the time we get with those we love, even if it is shorter than what we would like. 

At our home fellowship group last night I asked a question that I really intended just for myself – “What Christmas present am I giving God this year?”  What does He need or want?  Does He want us to share the gospel?, encourage a believer?, spend time alone with Him?, be nice to a stranger?  All gifts we give each other are just symbolic and temporary, but what we give to God is eternal.  I don’t want to miss out on giving as many gifts as I can, so if I don’t get all the presents wrapped, or any Christmas baking done, or even if the Christmas cards don’t make it in the mail on time, it’s okay with me, if the reason is because I was busy giving gifts that matter.  I’m playing in the last two minutes of the game, and love always wins out.